You know you've been a consultant for too long when...

Nick Patterson

Nick Patterson

After some years working in professional services, there might be telling signs that you have been a consultant for too long. Here are 15 signs that it’s maybe time for you to consider a job change!

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… someone asks you what you actually do in your job, and you fall deadly silent.

… someone asks for a meeting at 10.00 and you say am or pm?

… you refer to your child’s arts and crafts project as a deliverable.

… you use any of the following words in a social context: consensus, buy-in, robust and ‘let’s step back’, deep-dive, stress-test, stakeholder.

… you refer to getting sign-off for a night out.

… you problem solve for a plan for ‘date night’.

… you say to your partner ‘I’m coming home early tonight’ and the clock’s already hit 8 pm.

… you use colour coded Excel for your shopping list.

… you discuss new Excel functions with your (geeky) friends.

… you explain to the hotel staff what their room policy is.

… you’ve seen more films on a plane than in a cinema.

… you show new employees of the client how to get the best coffee from the machine.

… you perform a SWOT analysis on any major life decisions.

… someone refers to ‘being on the beach’ or ‘on the bench’ and you ask them about their annual billable hours.

… you use PowerPoint to design absolutely everything.

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More ways our readers know they've been consultants for too long

… you receive a birthday card signed by all front desk staff from the Marriott Renaissance in Rutherford.

… you head out for dinner one weekend with your partner, you recommend “going back to that awesome restaurant…” and they say – that wasn’t me and there isn’t one of those in this city.

… you know the names of all three flight attendants on the Monday AM flight to NYC but not of your neighbour across the street.

… lifetime status at a hotel or airline becomes a positive achievement.

… the rental car or hotel staff says “It’s been a while since we’ve seen you, everything OK?”

… you arrive back to your home airport and customs ask ”where are you coming from sir….” and it’s a complete blank!

… you introduce yourself by starting with, “Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Evening”!

… you get to the airport, stop by your favourite diner, and the waitress already has your standard order ready.

… you start referring to the Marriott as home.

… you can unpack/repack in 15 minutes.

… you really geek out on posts like this. 😉

… you wear a Marlins hat to a Bruins hockey games.

…. you speak the wrong language to the postman.

… you have so many passwords, you can’t get into any device.

… you have to think twice before writing country of residence on the Customs re-entry form.

… you pull out the wrong currency at a local MacDonalds.

… your neighbour asks “what did you think of Sunday’s game?” and you have no idea which sport, when or where it occurred.

… you have more friends abroad than in your own country.

… your company thinks you are more loyal to it than to your community of practice.

… you are in an argument with your significant other and say “May I ask a clarifying question?”

… you get a leaving present from the receptionists at the hotel.

… you dread the thought of going to a restaurant (5 times already this week) on a weekend.

… you’re invited to the hotel staff’s Christmas night out because you’ve stayed in that hotel some many times.

… you get a 12:00 meeting request and are relieved that it’s midnight and doesn’t mess up your lunch plans.

… you know flight attendants in person.

… you teach newly on-boarded car rental staff how to process additional equipment and services.

… locals ask you for dining advice.

… you calculate the opportunity costs of the time you spend for pleasure.

… you wake up in the middle of the night and, for a few moments, not know whether you are home or not.

– by Nick & the movemeon community

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